Oh what a bore! The boar’s got out
And so’s the deer, my dear.
What’s more, they’re headed for the moor
And they won’t be back, I fear.
The lion’s lying by the door
While the daw stares from the stair
And the raven’s raving ‘Nevermore’
While the hare’s doing her hair.
The seal’s still waxing lyrical
About sealing wax and pickets
And the bat is bawling for a bat and a ball –
Wants the cricket to pick it for cricket.
I won’t pander to pandas – it’s not fair that their fare
Is so fussy and hard to obtain
And I’ve made myself hoarse as I called for the horse
To remain while I plaited its mane.
I can’t bear this – the bear has gone AWOL again
And I’ve barely caught sight of the swallow
So I’ll go back inside and swallow my pride
And hope that the pride will all follow.
Notes: “Today, we’d like to challenge you to write a poem that incorporates homophones, homographs, and homonyms, or otherwise makes productive use of English’s ridiculously complex spelling rules and opportunities for mis-hearings and mis-readings.” Seemed like a cue for some animal puns.