Do not attempt
To activate suddenly
Or with insufficient caffeine –
This may result in damage,
Not necessarily to property.
Is prone to wobbling
When short on fuel.
If explosion seems likely
An immediate application of theobromine
Is strongly recommended –
Either solid or liquid is fine.
When exposed to certain stimuli
May produce salt water from the visual area,
And in extreme cases liquid may also stream
From the nasal orifice.
Do not be alarmed.
This is perfectly normal,
And requires only the application of tissues
Or a cotton hanky.
It is not, however, helpful
To say “It’s not real.
It’s only a telly programme.”
This may result in prolonged sulking.
Do not be concerned about
And rhythmic tappings of fingers.
This is not a glitch
But a necessary step
In the manufacturing process
And will result, if all conditions are met,
In something like poetry.
Note: The prompt was to write a warning label for myself. It could have been a lot longer…