2016 Day 14 – Your reaching hand

Your reaching hand is empty, garden stripped
Of flowers, the hanged man dancing upside down,
A lost god walking in an empty garden.
Your hand can reach to where the hanged man’s gripped
And weave his tears to make a thorny crown.
The hanged man’s hand is reaching for a lie.
As midnight falls, all trepasses are pardoned.
An empty garden is no place to die.

 

Notes: The prompt was to write a san san, an eight line poem which repeats, three times, each of three terms or images. The eight lines rhyme in the pattern a-b-c-a-b-d-c-d. I used  a reaching hand, the hanged man and an empty garden and went where that took me.

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11 responses

  1. Pingback: Day Fifteen

  2. Congratulations! This is excellent — the images are hantingly beautiful.
    “A lost god walking in an empty garden”
    “And weave his tears to make a thorny crown.”
    “As midnight falls, all trepasses are pardoned.”
    These are my favorite lines.
    Having just spent two months in Bermuda, including Good Friday — this poem takes me to a contemporary crucifixion. Bermuda has a Passion Walk in the World UNESCO Heritage town of St. George’s — costumes are quite incredible and it’s been a tradition for about 50 years. “Christ” walks to various historical sites as he goes through the passion to the crucifixion. I must admit I could not follow after the stop with Pontius Pilate – although it was an enactment, it became too real for me. This was opposed to the kite flying tradition that begins at noon where families gather for fish cakes, hot cross buns, kite flying, foot races, soap box derby etc. Anyway — these lines in your poem brought me to the images of the passion play. Do not know if you meant to do this — it’s interesting where poetry takes us, isn’t it?
    What I like about your poem is that the adherence to the form disappears in the reading. And that is oh so tricky to do. Well written!
    PS: I’m the lillian who provided the book spine prompt. My take on the san san took me to a really different personna from my own. Like you, I started with one basic idea and the pen just moved. For me it was the word “ghetto.”
    Happy NaPoWriMo and writing! So nice to meet you here. Later today, I’ll meaner your site a bit more.
    lillian

    • Thanks – it’s always interesting to learn how other people interpret the images I use in something like this. The allusion to the crucifixion is deliberate, but there are also references to Tarot and the Garden of Eden.
      I enjoyed the book spine prompt, thanks for supplying it.

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