The cheque is in the post. My bum
Does not look big in this or any dress.
No-one will notice that enormous zit
And you will never grow to love me less.
A big boy did it and ran off.
My beauty sleep’s not troubled by your snore.
Chocolate? What chocolate? Eaten it? Not me!
And you’ll adore me, dear, for ever more.
If the wind shifts your face will stay that way.
Santa is watching you. Big boys don’t cry.
That stain on the settee was there before
And you, my sweet, will love me till you die.
This won’t hurt much. No side effects.
Of course your room will be one with a sea view.
So simple that a child could understand it.
Believe me, darling, when I say that I believe you.